An Unlucky Adventure

I have the worst luck with vehicles. Seriously. Whether it's them breaking down, getting me lost, running out of gas, car accidents- you name it I've been through it. Even my mother has told me I have the worst luck with cars. Yep. Sucks.

Last Thursday I survived a very long journey to get my baby Milo. Too many things happened for that one trip that has lead me to my new rule- I'm never driving long distances EVER AGAIN! I'm tappin out. I can take no more.

I'll start from the beginning...

I live on the KY/TN border an hour outside of Nashville, and the only breeder I could find that actually had babies available for sale was at the very opposite end of Tennessee. Like 4 hours away. Awesome. This was gonna be an all day thing. I hate long trips alone so I had a fellow Army wife go with me for company.

In order to be back home for a drink and adult activity at a decent hour I had to leave at 9 in the am. Reasonable enough; not too late, not too early. After awaking to random shit all over the place [thanks hubbs. you coming home early and trashing the house is always welcome] a vacuum in the car, and a bunch of other shenanigans, I left my house at 9. Well, I was suppose to be on the freeway by 9, and I hadn't even picked up Morgan yet! Great start.

The night before I spoke with the breeder about meeting me an hour from her house to shave time off my journey so that instead of driving for 8 hours I'd just be driving for 6. Noon was the set time and I intended to get my ass there pronto! After making extremely good time and passing Nashville in a hot minute [musta been all that girly chit-chat nonsense] I got a voicemail at 11:15 from the breeder. She was there and wondering where the hell I was......confused much......fuck, it just hit me. She's an hour ahead of me!!!!! God damnit! Now I have to call and hope she doesn't charge me the extra 40 minutes she has to wait for the Subi to get there. She says it's fine. I am in the clear.

The night before after speaking with the breeder about meeting we agreed to meet in Lenoir City which is an hour away from her home and just before switching freeways. Mapquest said it was a straight shot all the way there. Nice. So we enjoyed the scenery knowing I'd meet my little baby within the next half hour...
Shortly after taking these pictures we noticed a sign that said 'Welcome to Georgia". Ummmm.........say wha? How the fuck are we in GEORGIA?! How in the hell could this have happened?! Well lemme tell you how. Grr.

I am A and breeder is B. Lenoir City is the orange X where we decided to meet up. Mapquest was lovely enough to point me down the ways of my journey so I was confident about making it home by 4. Wrong-o. My phone's navigation the crazy bitch decided to take me down the green path. Complete opposite direction you little shit.

Oh you bet your ass I panicked. I panicked like a mofo. I got off the next exit, parked in a gas station parking lot, and acted the way Elle Woods responded to being dumped by Warner. I even hyperventilated at one point.

So now I'm an hour and a half away instead of ten minutes, the breeder has already been waiting for me, I'm running out of gas, and I am totally FUH-REAKING OUT! Then I get pissed. Like, real effing pissed. The whole point of meeting was to shave time off this never-ending trip and save some of my gas. I have just wasted the money I'm paying her to meet me in the first place, so that's fucking great. I am livid. I call her to explain everything and she somehow shows me sympathy. Now we'll meet in Athens which is an hour from both of us. Ugh.

Morgan is a peach [a Georgia peach-___-] for listening to me complain about everything for the next hour. Love her. We get to the Cracker Barrel for this shindig about to go down and I'm getting giddy to meet my baby. When I picked Milo to be mine I put down a deposit on him and asked the breeder the night before the remaining balance. She told me it would cost extra for her to meet me and then she gave me the final total. Cool. I pulled money out that morning thinking I even had a little extra just in case.

I'm  holding my little hedgie when the breeder tells me my balance. You should have seen the look on my face. Morgan said she wished she could show me because it was priceless and horrible at the same time. The balance she told me the night before was $153 and some change. The total she told me in person was $197.......Are you fucking kidding me. After the day I have had I am in no mood. She tells me it's the balance plus her shipping fee. Uhhh...that's not what you told me last night crazy lady. I even did the math and it was correct. But apparently I didn't factor in tax and she added on an hourly wait time in addition to her mileage fee. Well, I don't see a bank in this shithole of a town. Never fear with her little doohickey that snaps to her phone. I cringe. There is not much left on my debit card. Ughhhhhhhh. Just swipe it so I can leave!

We are now starving. It's 1:30 and we need sustinence. My tummy was a rumblin. We manage to find the only thing familiar to me- a Hardee's. Which where I am from is Carl's Jr. So I figure they have the same shit just a different name. Nope. I order and the girl looks at me like I'm crazy. She even enlists the help of an old lady that looks as if she is about to trip any second. I can barely understand their thick-ass accents and it turns into the moment at the DMV where you are trying to explain your dilemma to the foreign worker looking at you like you're the dumbest person ever. Then Morgan tells me she forgot her wallet in her other purse. Awesome. I'm not gonna let the poor girl starve, but I'm seriously running low on funds. We get our meal and proceed to the drink station. None of them work. Not a single one. Can one thing go right today? Please?

Traffic. Just what we need on our way home with very little gas supply. This pet better be worth this crap. Good thing I took the Subi. Traffic + a manual transmission = a very angry Megalin.

Finally get home at 7. SEVEN!!! I am exhausted, thirsty, and I wanna cuddle with my 2 babes. I managed to make it into my driveway with 15 miles left in my gas tank. That trip was almost 500 miles total.
I filled that sucker off til that thing clicked. It's a great feeling when it happens because your car is now fully loaded. Which hasn't happened to the Subi in months. I never put in more than 20 bucks because that's usually all I can spare out of my paycheck. By the end of the day I was driving on fumes.

But all in all, I got my sweet little baby out of it. So everything was worth it because I now have a new love.

Linking up with Whitney for backthatazzup Friday

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  1. LOVE this song! I completely forgot about it. I totally remember this video though. The girl from The OC is in it! haha

    Visiting from #BackthatazzupFriday


  2. Wow what a story...glad you made it home safely and got your new little baby. :)

  3. Holy moly that is the craziest day ever!!! I am so glad you finally have your hedgie though :) sooooo cute!

  4. PS not sure how but somehow I unfollowed you :( I couldn't figure out why I hadn't seen anything from you in a while. But I'm back!! :)

  5. That is a SAGA. So glad you made it back alive! I have a hedgie and I absolutely love her. Thankfully, I only had to drive an hour away to get her.

  6. Awe... such a sweet story. What a bitchy breeder! Charging all those extra fees. She knew she had something you really wanted. Ugh!


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