Presentations Suck

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If I ever become a teacher [and I hope I do] the kids will friggin adore me because I will allow them to go through my class without ever having to do presentations. Fuck presentations. What's funny is I actually really like them. I am awesome at designing them, gathering the right info, and I knock them out of the park when I present. And to be honest most of the time I straight up pull it right out of my ass cause I got it like that.

I had a presentation due last night that I had known about for an entire week due at 6pm. I started that shit at 4:15. It was just about work experience and all that jazz so it was fairly easy and I'm big on procrastination [when it comes to assignments]

What I actually don't like are the stupid people that give the presentations. If I were a teacher I legit could not sit through them without getting bored/frustrated/annoyed/etc. You know what I'm talking about. There are certain types of people who give presentations and most of them suck.

The Smooth Talker
This person clearly has their shit together, whether they actually know what they're talking about or not. Their presentations are interesting with the right amount of text and images, not too short or too long.
I fall under this category.

The Story Teller
This person does not stop talking. They will turn a 5-10 minute limit into 20+ with all of their added stories and random trailing off topic nonsense. No one cares about your life, just tell us what we need to know and be done with it.

The Slowpoke
Jesus Christ can this person talk any slower. They drag on because they either simply can not think of something to say or just lack normal speaking skills to get their words out. It gets you incredibly frustrated because you read what's on the slide before they finished their first sentence. Hurry up!

The Crammer
They put every. single. piece. of information on their slides. You're only suppose to have a few bullet points with key words and phrases yet they manage to fit entire paragraphs onto every slide. What's the point of you presenting if I just read everything myself?

The Robot Reader
I don't know if this person is unprepared or doesn't really care but they do not look away from the screen. They speak in monotone while staring at their own presentation never to face the audience or engage. They read all of their information- which we can do ourselves- word for word and never add anything extra onto it.

The Note Keeper
Usually over-achievers and possibly quite shy, they come prepared with a shit ton of index cards or a full piece of paper. Like the the robot reader, they never look at the audience and read straight from their notes. Sometimes they even use them as a shield to hide their face while they are reading. You can almost never hear what they are saying.

The Graphic Overloader
This person uses every gadget to 'spice up' their presentation. Sounds, fonts, whooshing words and spinning sentences- overkill. They spend half their time pressing a button to get all their key points on the screen and it gets old fast. They soon realize it was more fun when creating the presentation than during the actual slide show.

The Quick Ninja
Blink and you missed it. This person talks so fast you never understood what they said or even had a chance to figure out what their presentation was about. Either they're nervous or just plain don't wanna do it, they get it over quick and never meet time limit requirements. The teacher/professor usually has to have the 'question segment' to get them to speak more.

Did I leave anyone out?

Last night was the worst ever. I didn't even get to present! All these people were getting on my last nerve that I didn't even know what to do with myself. What's worse is I a had a double-whammy presenter. They were a slowpoke and a story teller, and I just wanted someone to pull the curtain on this bitch. Our time limit was 5 minutes due to how many people are in the class and she went for 20. Shoot. Me.

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1 comment

  1. Oh my gah I hated class presentations with a passion. The listening to other people's presentations part was the worst. Pie charts should not be allowed. And when there was a misspelling or something on one of their slides? Shoot me.


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