Sorry for My Lameness

Day 13- Issue a public apology. 

That's easy considering it's Monday [the dreaded of all days] and usually people brag rant talk about how crazy super awesome their weekend was. Well I'm here to say you won't be getting that outta me. My weekend sucked except for a small hour window that was unexpected. So, I'm sorry about what you are about to read....or am I?

Shit, what did I do Friday? It's sad when you can't even remember.... got it! I made Mexican food and we drank until we passed out. Not very exciting, but it's the truth. I can't handle my liquor like I used to. Throw in a work day and Mexican food and you can guarantee I'll be knocking the fuck out going to sleep on the early side. Woot woot! Check out this party girl right here. Yeh.

This amazing thing happened where I was super sneaky and got away with some shit. It was pretty cool. You see, awhile back I had planned to open my own daycare in the garage we had transformed into a room. I had everything planned out and then my neighborhood decided to be complete assholes and basically deny me to the state. Friggin jerks. So now I have a shit ton of toys and other things that have never been opened or even touched for no reason. Fan-fucking-tastic. 

Most of the stuff was bought on Black Friday because let's face it, when buying a bunch of shit for kids that gets crazy expensive and said children aren't even mine- I'm gonna go the cheap route and buy all that crap deeply discounted, ya feel me? So obviously this stuff was half off or more. Here is where I got sneaky. Wal-Mart won't let you return anything after 90 days. November was 6 months ago. Never fear, for I am hardcore smart with the heart of a Jew. I put everything in a basket and took it to them saying my idiot husband [sorry babe] lost the receipt and I have no use for these untouched toys, while giving them the puppy dog pout asking if there was anything they can do. They ended up giving me store credit- and everything rang up full price. Yeh.

For anyone who thinks this is wrong, first let me tell you that Wal-Mart are complete assholes. They deserve anything that comes to them and that really should be your only reason for justification. But they've also wronged me so many times at this point they owe me. I honestly don't know why I keep going there. Oh yeah, I live in a hideously small town with no other options. Grr.

So J got it in his head we should totally get a tv. Cue the Grinch smile upon my face. I love it when we think alike. Our 60'' flat screen we just bought [also on black friday] pooped out on us and we've been living a month with no tv because another company decided to be an asshole and take their sweet ass time. We are supposed to have a replacement tomorrow. J tells me we only need a 39'' for now and we can put it in the bedroom. He doesn't need to convince me, I was already sold when he said the word tv.

Feeling high off our victory we went home to celebrate with drink after drink. Once again I forgot I was on vicodin [neck injury-calm yourself] so that didn't go too well by the end of the night. J said I was acting all kinds of loopy and he finally gave up on trying to communicate with me. I digress.

I was quite sad since my mother is back in Cali along with every other family member and friend I have, so I wallowed in self pity and snuggled with Milo all day. It involved stuffing my face and watching lots of downloaded movies. I finally saw Pitch Perfect and loved it. Fat Amy is a riot. Even J watched!

So how was your weekend?

Linking up here and here
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  1. Score on the returns! That's awesome! Way to be resourceful. We did the same thing with a tent we only opened in the house and never used. It was like 7 months old, but they exchanged it for full price store credit. :) And we got things we needed.

  2. I cleaned house all weekend and went to an Applebees.....just livin the dream.

  3. that grinch scenario is HI-LARIOUS. and especially since it's all still full price and un-touched, why feel bad? they're going to put it back on the shelf anyway right?


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