Google Rocks my Socks

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Hello pretties!

If you've been around long then you may have noticed quite the difference in the appearance of this here blog. It seriously took me multiple hours of multiple days to figure out half of the shit I did. I am not tech savvy in the slightest. I'm actually pretty retarded when it comes to technology. Seriously, I get made fun of a lot for it. Mostly by J. He likes to think he's been teaching me so when he deploys I'm not completely helpless. [he once had to talk me through step by step something for my computer while he was deployed]

How did I possibly manage to do all of this on my own? Fucking Google, duh. How in the hell did we survive without the massive search engine we know and love? Need information? Google it. Where am I going? Google it. Can you help me with my homework? Just Google it, bitch!

So because of this I got to thinking of the major instances in life we need Google for. There are plenty, but I narrowed it down to 10.

 I give to you....


1. It has cool backgrounds
I love checking Google just to see the new graphics they have for it. They get really creative and sometimes 'celebrate' the most mundane holidays.



2. It helps us with school
Honestly, would anyone be able to look up a word, research an essay, or come up with an original idea without it? Face it, you graduated because of Google



3. It corrects our spelling
You know when you're having trouble spelling a word so you just type it in the search bar so Google can spell it for you. Don't lie! 



4. It tells us what stuff means
Don't know what that word means? Google will tell you. No more need for dictionaries. 



5. It tells is where we're going
Fuck regular maps when you have Google Maps on your phone. Without it I probably would end up lost in my own damn city, let alone a long trip



6. It diagnoses our sickness
Every time there is something wrong with us, no matter how big or small, we Google it just in case. Even though every time we do we end up getting paranoid that we have some horrible disease


7. It gives us random facts
No, I did not know that 70% of murders in Detroit go unsolved. But thanks for the tip, Google. I will steer clear of that crazy city!



8. It helps us figure things out
Without the tutorials and explanations from Google, I would not be able to figure out simple things. Like how to get that stain out of my wooden dresser or figuring out how to use my new shower


9. It makes us laugh
Dear god have you seen the automatic responses that pop up when you start to type?! Are people really this stupid and/or disgusting?! I digress. It does make you chuckle every now and then



10. It has hidden gems
I love how they throw in tricks, those little sneaky-sneaks. If you type in 'Zerg Rush' the o's fall down and you have to zap them. Type in 'askew' and see what happens. My personal favorite, searching for 'Chuck Norris' and clicking the 'I'm feeling Lucky' button. Hilarious



What would life be like if we didn't have Google?!



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7 comments

  1. HAHA I never knew about the sneaky tricks Google does! Makes me love it even more. And the suggested searches that finish what you're typing in are hilarious.

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  2. Haha Google is seriously the greatest thing ever, I see so many people hopping on the "Bing" bandwagon... do they celebrate every holiday ever? No. Do they make you laugh constantly? No. Google forever!

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  3. I love number 3! I do that all the time. Love the way the blog looks - you did a great job!

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  4. Google is pretty amazing :) i use it ALL THE TIME for school lol

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  5. Life would be tragic. I don't know how people functioned before Google.

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  6. Yaaaaay Google does the spelling right. I'm glad that Google existed when I was a freshman. How to act like a boss in seniors? Let me Google about this!

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  7. Looks like you won't need my help! You've done great! Be proud that you've learned a bunch of this on your own!!

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