October Ipsy Bag

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Happy Halloween everybody!

The weather is super shitty here and we're officially on tornado watch. So much for passing out candy to the little beggers tonight. Oh well, I know J will eat it.

So in true fashion as it's the last day of the month, I'm seriously late on bringing the latest Ipsy glambag to this here blog. I received it about a week or two ago and I forgot that it was just sitting on my nightstand. Whoopsie.


This month's theme was The Art of Beauty.
I wish they had been a little more clever in using the spooky holiday for inspiration.
Coulda been like dark, dramatic makeup or something, but whatevs.


Items included:
LA Fresh Oil-free Face Cleanser
Nourish Organic Coconut and Argan Body Lotion
Big Sexy Hair Blow Dry Volumizing Gel
Boxom Lip Polish in Dolly
Zoya Nail Polish in Giovanna


My horrible bedroom lighting does not do that nail polish justice. It is one of the most beautiful colors I've ever seen and I can't wait to slab it all over my nails. I'm ready to be beautified!


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You Gotta Bat Your Eyes Like This..

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Welcome to the late train, people.

Anyone know what movie that title line is from? If you don't we seriously can't be friends anymore. Super cereal.

Anywho, so everyone around these parts knows that I'm not very girly. I'm trying, but lezbihonest, it's not really working out very well. I signed up for Ipsy in hopes that I would dabble more in makeup, I started buying more girly clothes in hopes that I would actually wear them, but so far it's very teeny tiny baby steps I've been taking when it comes to actually going through with it.

So I was on Buzzfeed because I get that bored sometimes, and I came across an article saying that girls need to stop being such babies when it comes to fake eyelashes. Uhhh, say whaaa? Fuck whoever wrote that, those things scare the ever living hell outta me. When it involves my eyeballs that let me see the world, I'm not really willing to possibly screw that up to look like a creepy China doll. 

But then I got intrigued. Because apparently you don't need to apply mascara when wearing those bad boys and I'm all about simplifying anything that lets me walk out the door that much quicker. Also, I am not a morning person so you'll usually never catch me wearing makeup anyway because I wanna sleep damnit! Ain't nobody got time for that!

So I decided to investigate these thingamajiggers and came to the conclusion that if they were to grace my ojos then someone else would have to do it because I don't trust myself for a second. I stumbled upon the awesome cheap site known as Groupon and purchased a set of extensions that only last about 2 weeks, just in case I didn't end up liking them. 

Before: My natural lashes

After: Flares

The proof is in the pudding folks. It only took about 15-20 minutes to apply and they don't feel weird. I'm lovin these things because my eyes look dramatic without me having to do anything. I can just walk out the door ready for the day and I look carelessly fabulous. Win.


Would you ever get lash extensions?



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A Hollywood Halloween

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Happy Halloween-hump day!

Of course it's not actually Halloween, but today is the one-time linkup with Sarah and Helene talking about all things spooky! Since it can be about anything related to All Hallow's Eve, I decided to bring up one of my past Halloweens that happened to be the most interesting.

Even though J was in Afghanistan that year, Halloween 2011 was the best for 2 reasons- it's the last one I got to spend with my family and friends [and was my nephew's first one that I made his costume for :)] and where me and my girls ended up- West Hollywood, baby! You know shit gets interesting when it involves dressing up AND the awesome gay community. So be prepared to be bombarded with photos!

My adorable nephew Zeus. He was Jack-Jack from The Incredibles

Since J was off at war during the time where cute couples costumes reign, I decided not to do a group thing and honor him by being an "Army Brat" complete with his dog tags and my 'combat boots', which by the way are super sexy and amazingly comfy. Surprising enough, none of the boyfriends were present, so what's a group of girls to do? Go to West Hollywood of course! You never know what you're going to get there and considering they shut down the town and throw a parade we knew that was the place to be!


What a crazy night that was. I tried taking a picture with every other 'branch' I could find- a cop, a sailor, SWAT guy, and yes, the fireman with the penis hose. Didn't even notice that until I saw the picture and I busted out laughing. Courtney was so excited when she found her Jason, and at one point I think Becca found Joker and Harleyquinn. Everyone left satisfied! Seriously though, those people were insane, but the good kind. My fav was hands down the Ghostbusters, although I'm not sure that guy should be smoking at a gas station. If he dies he could haunt his partners haha silly me. The moment I got home I skype-called J and told him everything. I'm so happy this year we can do a couples costume! 

Stay tuned for next week when I upload pics from my Halloween party on Saturday! 
Over and out.

Linking up here

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The Transition Period.

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I hate this very much.

What is the transition period? It's the time in which you have to wait in between dying your hair colors. You see, I've been every single color of the rainbow [I'd prove it but my laptop w/all hs pics was stolen] but the one color I loathe the most is blonde. That is not my color. Like, at all. I was not made to be blonde and the color knows it. It makes a very big effort to make me look ugly, like Cinderella's evil step-sisters ugly.

Exhibit A
[don't mind the gay pose, I was 17]

I decided my hair needed something new and fresh and realized I haven't dyed it in a super long time, especially red. The last time I was red was Halloween 2011. Well, for Halloween 2013 it shall be red again! But before I can be an awesome, sassy redhead I have to lighten my hair to make sure it'll take and I get a more vibrant red than a subtle auburn color, cause who wants that? Plus I specifically chose a costume to go with my hair, so that's muy importante. 

Yesterday I finally went ahead and bleached my locks. It sucked. Most people don't know that your head radiates heat, and bleach is activated by heat, therefore you are supposed to start at the tips and work your way up to your scalp to ensure you don't have a highlighter top and dark bottom. Since my hair is so long I figured it wouldn't be a problem and the ends would have plenty of time to lighten by the time I got to my scalp. Yeahhhh that didn't work out so much.

I freaked the fuck out when I got out of the shower and looked at my head. I was like did my hair even change cause it still looks dark! I was panicking that I would have to drive all the way to the other side of town where the only Sally's is and spend more money buying more bleach just to do the ends. The costume party J and I are throwing is on Saturday and I need to make sure my hair is red by then. preferrably Thursday or Friday. You can technically dye your hair 24 hours after bleaching it, but I wanted a little time as a "blonde" so I don't completely fry my hair. After 10 years and countless colors I'm not sure how much more my hair can take. It's super thin and my mom is amazed it hasn't fallen out by now. She says I'll be bald by 40. We shall see.

Good news is when it dried it didn't look like total shit so I'm hoping the red will take with what I have. I'm trying to make the best of it these next couple days because I personally think it's god awful, but whatevs. Take a gander and judge for yourself.

My bright scalp



Party on Wayne, party on Garth.
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J Gets Cocky

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Happy Friday!

Time to bug J to get off his little World of Warcraft bullshit to cooperate in the Boys Behind the Blog! Lets see how long it takes to actually get his attention and then keep it. It's gonna be a handful, folks. Ah damn, he just put his headphones on. Damn me and buying those things for him. Grr. I swear I married a 13 year old boy who just discovered video games because if it came down to him giving up me or the video games I'm pretty sure the answer would make me a very sad panda.

Alright let's get to it!

1. Describe yourself in 5 words.
B.A.M.F., yeh. 
[bad ass mother fucker]

2. What is your biggest fear?
Clusters of small holes. I'm not afraid of a whole lot so it's mainly that irrational fear.

3. What is your favorite candy?
I eat what I want.

4. What was the best Halloween costume you've ever worn?
Ah damn, he's gonna say that friggin Sparta costume he wore 3 years in a row when bitches were all over his junk cause that guy basically just wore a tiny loin cloth and a cape. Ugh. Did you know he wanted to be that AGAIN this year?! Yeah, no. I don't think so.

*looks at me like 'you already know'*
Why would you even have to ask? God damn Spartan.

year one
year two

Yeah, my husband was a man-whore. Don't ask cause I wasn't with him then. I knew him, but trust me when I say I did NOT fall for all that bullshit and god just look at all that hair. Me no likey. So for good measure since I just tainted your eyes, I shall give you a little somethin from his childhood..



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Fun in the Grass

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To the babies, playing in the grass is like the greatest thing on earth. They go ape shit over it and I have no idea why. Maybe the texture of the grass and dirt? The urge to dig and burrow? All I know is once I set those little hedgies in the front yard they don't want to leave and it makes for adorable pictures. 

I tried getting them together but they were like fuck this, we're going our separate ways
Look how much Kol has grown!

Apparently my grass was really dead when Kol was a baby. Eh, it was summer, grass dies. Whatevs. So yeah, for all you dog people- this I what I have to look forward to. Little furballs roaming the yard.

Peace out.




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The Halloween Spirit

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For everyone who hates Mondays because you have to go to work- boo hoo. Try waking up at the ass crack of dawn just to get a shitload of shots in your neck. Then tell me how bad your Monday sucks...yeah, didn't think so. So shut your lips.
On to happier and cuter things...I finished decorating outside the house and managed to not mess up my little pumpkin project. I got 5 different sized pumpkins for each member of the family and decorated them rather than carving them. It was super easy and you all should do the same to add a little cuteness to your house. 
Something even more adorable than that? I managed to get pictures of the babies with their pumpkins before putting them outside. I even got one with both of them in it! It took some patience and a lot of mealworms but it was a success! So now I'm using that picture in a contest Petco is having for the cutest Halloween animal and it would be awesome if you went and voted for my babies!Their hedgie cuteness needs to be shared with the world!
Picture time!








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