Do these Steroids make my Neck Look Big?

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Yesterday was basically one of the worst days of my life.

If you can't remember, I've been suffering from chronic neck pain for over a year due to an asshole Army medic rear ending me leaving base last July. The doctors obviously didn't take me seriously and everyone kept telling me I had whiplash and it would go away in a month max. Yeah, cause that happened. 

Pain meds didn't work, physical therapy didn't work, we're down to the last straw here. And I don't like it one bit. Since physical therapy wasn't working, the woman in charge told me to get an MRI because she thought maybe the tip of my spine had rotated. Awesome. Well it came back negative, but the pain was clearly still there. Apparently it wasn't my bones, but my muscles and joints had spazzed out and were causing every ache I was having. 

So it isn't easy fixing those, since they're all connected to each other and of course the neck is a pretty important part of your body- it carries your head and all. I had two options- surgery or pain management. I heard surgery and flipped my shit. No way dude, if there's another option let's try that first. Crazy people, sheesh. Well, pain management isn't much better. Guess what gets to happen to Megan once a week for twelve effing weeks? I get jabbed with 7 different shots in each side of my neck. Yep. Needles in the neck! Full of numbing agents, steroids, and all that good shit. Yeah, apparently steroids help.

I was like- uhh, you sure steroids is the thing to pump into my neck? Don't that shit make you huge and crazy? Will my neck swell like Arnold's? WILL MY PENIS GET SMALLER?! The doctor sure got a laugh out of that one. But seriously, I was freaking out.

Yesterday morning was my first round, and while it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, the after effects sucked ass. Not to mention the nurse forgot to give me valium beforehand and I. felt. everything. Afterwards, when my neck was all disgusting and yellow from the shit they put all over it and had eleventy million bandages on it, I was walking horribly stiff throughout Walmart getting looked at like I was an escaped mental patient. Of course they would choose Walmart for me to get my prescription at. Great. Plus I felt like an elephant- I was so stiff I couldn't move my upper body so if I wanted to turn, I had to turn my entire body as a whole. And since my purse was way too much pressure for my shoulders I had to hold it like a cramped T-rex. Yeah, yesterday sucked.

This was J's way of taking care of me. He just piled stuffed animals and pillows on top of me

Don't let that picture fool you, it hurt to just lay down. I barely got any sleep last night. Hopefully the soreness goes away by tonight cause this is horrible and I don't wanna go through this every week. Not cool. I'm off to stand in a hot shower and pray the water beating down my neck helps relieve even a fraction of this pain. I see many Vodka cranberries in my future.

Later, peeps.


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5 comments

  1. awe. girl i am sorry :( I hope this gets better for you

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  2. Have you ever tried a chiropractor? Two years ago i had some major bones/muscle issues, worst pain of my life, while i did find some medicine to help, it was the chiropractor, message therapy and osteopath that helped and made things better. Feel better!

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  3. Love his way of taking care of you, but holy cow seven shots in the neck. Fuck that! I hope it works for you though, cause I'm sure surgery would be worse. My dad had neck surgery for a crushed disc and the healing time was hella long. (I guess that's not helpful or encouraging, huh?) Oh well, at least you're pretty.

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  4. Oh my goodness, hope you are feeling better today! I hate needles and the thought of them in my neck creeps me out, I'm not sure I would have handled it as well as you did! I would have been balling into Adam's shoulder the entire time.

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