Pokemon Care Package

Happy Friday!
In all honesty I had every intention of posting all week long. But those pesky wisdom teeth gaps in my mouth continued to cause me agonizing pain and if I could barely get out of bed there was simply no way in hell my fingers were going to cooperate and churn out words for you lovelies. I was lucky if my brain decided to churn words out of my mouth. Lord knows it sucked to even laugh. Why the hell are they called wisdom teeth anyway? If they were so smart they'd know not to show up in a place they are unwanted and kindly get the fuck out on their own. But I digress.
The morning I got my smarty-pants teeth taken out I also decided [in a very drugged out state] that it was the perfect day to send the awesome care package I had made J forever ago but was too lazy to actually go to the post office and ship. So obviously I made my friend do it since I had my own personal chauffeur for the day. It was pretty sweet. I was calling her Biddermen and everything. Like when Brian drove Peter in his job-taxi. She even bought me jello and other treats. Such a good day.
Anyway, I usually send out my boxes by the tenth of the month so he receives them somewhere around the middle and has something to look forward to. I hadn't seen him in weeks and I was really starting to miss his face. It threw my whole mindset off and I didn't function properly there for awhile. One day I looked up at my [bad ass] fridge calendar and was like shit. The month is almost over. I gotta get back on my game. So I churned this sucker out and although it didn't require as much effort as my Ninja turtles one I was much more satisfied with it. Because duh who didn't play pokemon when they were like 8. Nostalgia, baby.

Pokemon related items:
PS Vita
Squirtle decal
Squirtle mini poster
Pokemon starter mouse pad
Squirtle dog tags
Squirtle evolution shirt
Gym master workout tank
Cute little postcard

If you couldn't tell, Squirtle is his favorite pokemon and if he could have any pet he would choose to have his own personal Squirtle at his disposal to do his biddings and play beer pong with. On Tuesday while I was at Target buying things I certainly do not need, he emailed me saying he took a quiz to find out which Starter Pokemon he was and he got Squirtle without trying. Technically it said 'you bet your ass I got Squirtle on the first try'. I know that because I just checked it. I quickly received a follow-up email saying 'and like 20 minutes later after taking that survey and discovering that I am in fact a Squirtle... your care package arrives'.

So of course I went home and took said quiz and I too got Squirtle, which I was not expecting. And that folks is how you know you and your spouse were meant to be. When even in an alternate, fictional universe you two would still be together, fucking shit up. Yeh. Take said quiz here and tell me who you get.

Past boxes:

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Rawr! I am the Gauze Monster!

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I got my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday, grr. But besides all the horror stories everybody told me about how it would be and what I would be going through afterwards, I felt completely fine. In fact I probably talked more in that day than I have all week combined. Go figure. Everything was going pretty good until 10 pm last day. I awoke from a power nap from pain meds and promptly ran to the bathroom and threw up. Damn this tiny body and it requiring a shit ton of sustenance in order to tolerate pain medication. 

So I did what anybody would do after unhinging my tiny jaw and letting loose all the yogurt and jello I ingested during the day- I downed a shit ton of cookies n cream ice cream and called it a night. I mean, even though I'm not even allowed to spit or rinse vigorously for another 6 days, pretty sure the damage has been done after throwing up. It's kinda sweet actually. I don't have to work today and I don't have to talk to people. It's like the perfect excuse for not giving a shit.

I'll be getting back to your regularly scheduled programming shortly. My boss had her baby last month, hence me not having the time to blog. How bout that- it's literally been a month. My last blog post was the 15th and Little Man was born the 16th. Actually he was evacuated from the premises due to a C-section. But I digress. See you tomorrow, or next week. Remember I have the perfect excuse. Later.

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Father's Day Care Package

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J thinks it's funny to call me The Mother of Hedges- and if you don't get that reference we can't be friends. We just can't. 

So when I was trying to figure out what to do for this month's care package it suddenly hit me. J is the Father of Hedges, and it just so happen Day of the Dads occurs in June. BAM. I'm good people. I should get like a medal or something. Lots of people claim their fur babies as their children and we are no different. We refer to them as "the babies" and they even have their own room. 

I tried to focus on hedgehog-related items but it is actually quite hard to find such things. I had to improvise a lot and of course filter in some nummy snacks for him to munch on while he's in the sandbox for a couple more months. Thank god it's almost over. 3 more months! Aaahhhh!!!!

The Supplies

Hedgie Stuffs

The card

Decorated box

Isn't the card absolutely adorable? I had it custom made to look like the babies. I even sent pictures of them and their cages so that the etsy lady could match the colors to their bellies. Turned out so cute. Throw in some captured moments of daddy-and-me time and a Sonic the Hedgehog comic and you've got yourself a a care package guaranteed to make your man cry. Or mine at least. I secretly hope it embarrasses him a little hee hee. Oh well.

my nanny kid and I made this for his father who really loves golf

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Mustache Care Package

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Happy Hump Day party people.
It's usually not so happy for me anymore ever since my school nights got switched from Mondays to Wednesdays, but what can ya do. Remember when I said life has been hectic lately? That was an understatement. So much so that I almost completely spaced out and forgot to send my husband a care package for last month. I got it sent by the 21st but I still felt really guilty about it.
Because of the fact I basically waited so long, this package wasn't all that and a bag of chips, and certainly didn't upstage my previous one. But let's face it- that Ninja Turtles package is gonna be hard to top. I'm currently working on it, but we'll see. 
May was about mustaches! And who wore mustaches better than one of J's favorite bands? The Beatles! I hunted down some things from their famous facial hair phase and figured he could use some more things to make his space in the Sand Box with. I wonder if his other roommates are jealous hee hee.

I loaded that sucker up with as many snacks as I could fit inside! One of the main things is Baja Blast. You see, Taco Bell has a specific Mountain Dew flavor that only they sell for some reason, and guess what fast food restaurant is J's favorite? Yep, sometimes we eat it so much I have to stop for months before I can start back up. And we have a rule that you can't go to Taco Bell and NOT purchase a Baja Blast for the both of us. This is the code for our marriage! But seriously, it's friggin delicious. Well they decided to grace our presence this summer by selling it in stores for a limited time. 

When J heard this he immediately called me and said to stock up. So I did. Every time I go to Walmart I buy at least 4 cases. Last week I found out that even though Taco Bell said it would be on sale until September, whatever the store has is all they get, so when they run out that's it. This alarmed me. I've been stocking up like the end of the world is coming. It's quite embarrassing. So I sent J a little taste which in hindsight was probably a bad idea considering now he's craving it. Well he's just gonna have to wait!

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Hit and Run 5k

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My deployment buddy and I completed our first 5k this past Saturday and we had a blast! I may have gotten seriously burnt to a crisp and received a couple of bruises but eh, all in the experience right? I should probably explain the bruises though. You see, for our very first 5k we stupidly chose the Hit and Run. It's an obstacle course filled with soap, water, balls being thrown at you, and of course running in between. It was pretty intense, but super fun!

Because of all the people and the fact that there is only one of each obstacle, they chunked us into running groups and sent people every 10 minutes so there wouldn't be long lines. We were apart of the purple group, or purple people eaters as I called us, and we got pumped! The DJ was awesome and kept the spirit alive while everybody waited and all I could do was focus on not tripping in the middle of a running crowd. Cause lets face it, that is totally something I would do.

The very first obstacle had me completely covered in suds, and yes- it was all up in muh booty area. We were soaked by the end of it and I bay-watched it across the finish line. It was pretty glorious. Our run time was 1030 and we got back to the car around 1145 and fucking around and rooting on other people. So I'm guessing we finished in an hour but it doesn't really matter to me cause we conquered that shit! Woot woot! Can't wait for the next one!

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Kol Turns 1!


My youngest baby hedge turned a year old over the weekend and we celebrated with lots of mealies! He was quite excited about it and got all up in there, ate every single one. Little heffer. My baby boy is all grown up!

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Look Cute at the Gym

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Yes, I'm alive. No, I won't apologize for being absent from my own blog. That would just be plain silly. I've been living life's hectic rollercoaster and it doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. And as you may have guessed from the post title, I've been hitting the gym quite hard. 5 days a week, in fact! Who would have guessed that this lazy bum would even get off the couch to go to the bathroom, let alone go work out at an actual gym.

One day I just realized that if J is going to be gone for 9 months, that would be plenty of time to get into shape and surprise him with my muscles when he gets back. I needed to stop moping around and I needed tons of energy since I started spending 15 hours a day with a very hyper 18 mo. I have really bad anxiety when it comes to small buildings and lots of people, especially people I don't know. Meaning gyms just aren't for me. Plus I can't be left to fend for myself, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. That's kind of the point of going to a gym. I need to work out but I don't know how, so I need some guidance!

Well I ended up finding just the gym for me. It's a little pricey, but I know once I make a monetary commitment I'm going to fully emerse myself into it to get the most bang for my buck. It's the kind of gym that is a class each day, and you get to choose which hour you want to attend with only a certain amount of people for each time slot. So not only are we all doing the same thing with a workout already made for us, but there's always at least 2 trainers to help and guide you and there is no more than 12 people in each class. You get to know these people and root for each other. It's pretty awesome. Plus they have free childcare so I get to take Jay Bird with me! Bonus.

Check me out doin my thang! The little pink numbers are mine ;)

In the beginning I was of course a complete noob. I had no idea what I was in for, and that included what to wear. I assumed I would just wear some yoga pants or my baggy capri sweats and a spaghetti strap and I would be good to go. Uhh, no. Not even close. There is a reason stores have a specific athletic department dedicated to workout clothes. I mean duh, that's the whole point of Nike. After about ten minutes I noticed that I sweat a lot. Like a lot. And cotton clothes are not the best things to wear when you are wet. They do not absorb the sweat, make you feel gross, and weigh you down. 

You're best bet is to wear tight clothing and spandex material, like a bathing suit. You'll feel cooler and there's less rubbing on your body. If you're like me, you wanna wear as little clothing as possible. Meaning lots of shorts. When I say as little clothing as possible I don't mean show up in just a bra and some underpants. Whatever you can get away with is all up to you, but I prefer to feel as comfy as I can while still being modest.

I also have OCD, and I HAVE to match when I get dressed. I just can't function for some reason. The best places for super cute clothes while being super cheap is Forever 21. I LOVE their bottoms and I get most of my sports bras from there. I also shop at Old Navy, Under Armor, Body Central and at a store my local mall has to get open back, loose shirts. As for shoes, my favorite is Nike Frees. I have 2 pairs and will be getting more soon. They're so comfy and unlike other running/athletic shoes, they actually have a stiff bottom for support.

My closet corner is dedicated to my workout clothes

I always try to base the days outfit on what core group we are working on. My gym rotates between upper, lower, and total body days. So when we're doing upper I wear pants, lower I wear capris, and total body [which means LOTS of cardio, grr] I rock the shorts. Usually if I wear shorts I'll wear a tighter shirt and pants a more loose one to balance out. Due to summer rolling around I wanted to make sure I was ready for anything, and to get lots of bright and fun colors. Summer shopping is fun, but I honestly haven't bought regular clothes in months. It's just tons of workout clothes for this girl! But it's still fun to shop for them and get funky with your outfit choices. I'm obviously not going to model everything in my closet cause we'd be here all day, but I did group my clothes for you. Also, pardon my wrinkly bed spread.

You can never have enough sports bras. Seriously. You'd be surprised how fast you go through them and then are like 'where the hell are all my bras?'. I'll be purchasing more in the near future because once I wear one it gets tossed into the hamper. I will not re-wear a bra unless it is washed because sweat= gross.

These are some of my shirts that are specifically for working out, so they are made of spandex material to absorb sweat and make you feel cool in the most dire of hot weather. I didn't feel the need to show you everything I own, so I just picked a few shirts from each category as examples.

These are cotton shirts but they are all very light and airy. I call them my barely-there shirts since some are see through and others have open sides or open backs. If I could work out in just a sports bra I would but considering others are present I'll cover up my tummy.

These are all of my shorts, and there is a white pair in there somewhere. Some have pockets which is nice for my chapstick [I'm an addict] and the ones that aren't spandex and hug my thighs are still very open and flowy without showing and flesh.

All of my capris. I prefer the 3 spandex to the 2 cotton cause of sweat but they're all fine. It's not like my booty can't breathe or anything ;)

For pants I highly recommend spandex since your entire leg is covered. It gets real hot real fast and you're gonna regret wearing those loose, flared cotton yoga pants. Those are NOT for the gym, so keep those for actual yoga or what we all know most people use them as, loungewear. We all know you don't wanna wear real pants cause fuck jeans, but don't wear them to the gym.

It is possible to look decent at the gym instead of the slobs with giant pajama shirts and baggy sweats. Those people are crazy and they most likely are not giving it their all. If you are legit working out, pumping iron, and sweating up a storm STAY AWAY from loose clothing and cotton. You'll thank me for it.
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A Poem by J

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The Hungry Hungry Hedgehog

There once was a hungry hedgehog, his name was Kol
Kol was very hungry so his mommy fed him mealies
But Kol was still hungry, so he broke free from his cage
Kol ran into a little spider and ate it, but he was still hungry
Kol ran into a stray cat and ate it, but he was still hungry
Kol stumbled across a grizzly bear and ate it, but he was still hungry
Kol's hunger drove him mad so he embarked on a journey for world domination
World War III happened and Kol enslaved the world
but at least he wasn't hungry
The End

The other day I was emailing J about how Kol is a little piggy and I have to give him twice as much food as Milo. He seriously gets very grumpy if he doesn't eat, much like his father. To which J emailed me back this poem and I died laughing. Have a great weekend!
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