My Lazy Girl Schedule for Working Out at Home

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I'll admit to you right here, right now- I haven't been to the gym in 2 years.

There, I said it. The second time J deployed I was on fire. 6 days a week I got up at the ass crack of dawn and went to the gym for 9 months straight. This gym was awesome. I picked it out because I have hard core anxiety when it comes to places with tons of people and I don't know what I'm doing and I have no control [i.e. airports, govt buildings, hospitals] and this place had specifically timed classes that you had to sign up for. Only so many people per class, a board with that day's workout, and two or more instructors to explain things and help if needed. It. Was. Perfect. 

Until a month after J came home. You're probably thinking I quit as soon as he got back. 
Wrong-o. The damn place shut down! It was a privately owned gym and I guess they just couldn't keep up or whatever. Que global meltdown from Megan. I was making such good progress. I know for a fact that I lack motivation and self- determination when it comes to things like working out. I can say all day long that I wanna do this n that, but I'll never actually do it.

Back to now--> where I'm slowly wasting away on the couch watching Netflix eating candy and other junk food. Why? I'm really depressed. And I'm over it.

I'm a very small person, this I am completely aware. Yes I weigh around 100 pounds, but none of it is muscle and I can barely open a soda bottle at times. And before you condemn me for complaining- I have cellulite and a bunch of cottage cheese-type fat just like any other girl. You don't know- you've never seen me naked! I'm just as self conscious about it as a girl twice my weight. I've never had to worry about my stomach; it's usually always flat and I can eat whatever the hell I want. Til now. 25 really hits you in the lady balls.

I noticed this past week that I'm starting to get a little gut that doesn't go away the next morning. Fuck me. Guess I need to suck it up and actually work out. But where? I'm not going to any of the gyms in this town. Half are filled with steroid-looking soldiers in uniform and the other half are filled with steroid-looking beef cakes who hog the machines and stare at themselves in the mirror and make grunting noises. No thanks.

Browsing through Instagram I found The Squat Challenge. It promises to work in as little as 4 weeks, and you can choose an 8 or 12 week home program. I chose 8 weeks. They even have legit monthly challenges where they reward you with cash prizes. I would totally do it if I wasn't a complete sissy. But I'm not sharing pictures of my nasty ass for the world to see. I already share enough as it is. So I decided to hold myself accountable by posting progress here and on my personal Instagram so that I can't slack off. Maybe I'll post 'before and afters' at the end...

The exercises are brutal and I may very well die. But you only have to do it 3 times a week. So on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays I'm gonna throw some push ups and sit ups in there to kinda balance everything out. But I'm not gonna go nearly as hard core as I am with that booty booty. My hopes aren't crazy up or anything. I don't think I'll be twerking in any rap videos by July, but I'm hoping I fill out my jeans a bit more and can rock a pair of high-waisted swimsuit bottoms I just got from Victoria's Secret on Saturday as more motivation. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck!
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75 Thoughts I Had While Watching GoT S6Ep3

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DUDE. Dude.
We're starting to get some serious flashbacks and I am lovin it. 

I forgot how into it I get when I watch the show. For this episode I went and got candy and Bunch a Crunch and I didn't even eat it. That's saying a lot cause I friggin love candy. I'd eat that shit for all my meals if I could...I've tried before. Dinner is usually when I can get away with it.

Season 6 Episode 3
Characters showed up, people died- it was pretty awesome. I think my favorite part each week aside from watching the actual show is reading fans' crazy theories on the most trivial parts. I feel like everyone believes GRRM would tie in the smallest detail to prove a point, but now they've taken it a bit too far and just pull shit outta their ass. Like people, simmer down. 
P.S. I apologize for the random font spacing going on. This blog frustrates me to no end.
-Major cussing. Spoilers, obvi-

1. Who be breathin
2. Boooooooty
3. Ghost like yeh, that just happened

4. She can't even believed it worked
5. Aww, poor Jon members
6. I wonder how different he'll behave
7. He should show up n be like couldn't even kill me right bitches
8. Now there's 2 ghosts
9. Hehehe I made a funny
10. He gonna be rockin that hairdo all season?
11. Ha. Penis joke. Nice

12. Did Sam lose weight?
13. Probably all that sea sickness
14. I'm on a boat mothafucka
15. Aww, he's takin her to his family
16. Deng, that baby big. How long they been on that boat

17. Yay, another flashback
18. Miss you Ned
19. </3
20. The Fuck that supposed to mean bro
22. Boom. You dead
23. Not gonna lie, fighting 4 dudes on your own is pretty bad ass
24. And then there were 2
25. Oh shit

26. That's not enough!
27. The Fuck, did he hear him?
28. I want to go back too!
29. You and me both Bran
30. All these creatures weird me out
31. Gimme the heebie jeebies

32. And she's back where it all started
33. Being a Dothraki must suck. Gotta walk everywhere
34. Her place ain't with you
35. Dafuq you mean fortunate

36. Who dis beesh
37. What she done
38. You always have a different perspective
39. Just tell him what he wanna know

40. This is the longest I've seen Tyrion go without talking
41. ..that didn't last long
42. He's not very good at waiting
43. Right there with you bro
44. He's around people who don't appreciate his humor
45. Poor thing

46. He needs to be my new drinking buddy
47. I volunteer as tribute!
48. Ah, so Varys does trust

49. Oh my God, his little birds
50. Brilliant

51. Cersei aint fuckin around
52. Got called out. Stop talkin shit then
53. Lady Olenna for the win
54. Ha. I love her
55. You ain't the queen
56. Hehehe maester is scared shitless

57. Finally grow a pair Tommen?
58. At least he's not backing down
59. I'm getting nervous with each step they take

60. Which name would you like a girl to speak
61. Fuck yeh Arya
62. Girl we know you want your eyes back, it's cool
63. Is it bad this storyline bores the Fuck outta me
64. She got her eyes back. Now go kill some bitches

65. This guy is not afraid to call Ramsey on his shit
66. I like him
67. Ohmygod Osha!
68. Holy Fuck Rickon
69. Noooooooooo
70. Leave the God damn direwolves alone
71. First Sansa, then Rickon. Starks are cursed

72. I've never been so emotionless during an execution
73. Wow Ollie. Nothing?
74. Eww don't make me look at him though
75. His watch has ended.

I feel like my little remarks and comments have actually turned into full-on thoughts now that the story has progressed... So that motherfucker totally heard Bran! Can he interact with the past?! Everybody is so happy that Olly and the gang are dead- totally forgetting that mere moments before Ramsay was gifted with Rickon! That shit better be a setup cause I can't take another Stark dying.
Episode recap- The Red Woman
Episode recap- Home
See you next week!
All men must die.
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85 Thoughts I Had While Watching GoT S6Ep2

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I fully had every intention to post this yesterday but you know, life.

So now I'm writing this in real time and at work no less. The little nugget is very curious as to what I am doing, and does not understand when I say no toddler eyes on Game of Thrones. He just thinks it's funny and says 'dragons' over and over again....I may have let him see that scene. Can you blame me though? Tyrion is the shit, even children know it.

So I put on Monsters Inc to distract him. Now he's stomping around the room going 'rawr!' I ask if he's a monster, he responds that he is a dragon. Hmm. Then he points to Randall and says 'dragon'. Whoops. Clearly the kid is a Targaryen. Guess we'll be playing dragons for the rest of the day. I ain't mad at it.

Back to Game of Thrones! I actually watched this episode immediately after the first one which sucked cause then I had to wait days for the third one like everyone else. I am not the most patient person.

Season 6 Episode 2
Lots of shit happened in this one. Once again these are not full-fledged thoughts but rather little remarks/comments I make while watching the episode. And yes, majority of the time I actually say these things out loud. That's usually why I watch it by myself. Now that I've started to write them down I realize I swear even more than usual while watching this clusterfuck of a show because really, how can you not. It frustrates you more than putting together Ikea furniture and never fully gives you what you want. GRRM giveth, GRRM taketh away. 
-Major language. Spoilers, obvi-

1. Looks like we're starting things off the creepy way..
2. Oooh visions. Nice
3. Someone got a haircut
4. What a stoops. Thought they saw him

6. Who the fuuuuck
7. What happened? Hodor.
8. Ah yes, classic.
9. Yeah she ain't havin it bruh

10. Nothin but arrows
11. Psh. YOU need to die tonight. Prick.
12. The suspense
13. Oh FUCK
14. Shouldna done that..
15. Yaaaas
16. Dueces ya little shit
17. No don't burn him he's so beautiful

18. Ha. Gives me a little smile wink wink
19. Love it
20. Zombie mountain
21. Fuck.

22. Boy king
23. I'm surprised they don't capture him too
24. See, even he agrees
25. Ummm
26. Is Shit about to go down
27. Damn. Bold ol' fuck
28. 'I'm glad to see you' She says with her back to him

29. I'll say it again. I fucking love Tyrion
30. Bummer

33. Shakin in your wee little boots?
34. Best stop walkin
35. Hey boo thangs

36. 'It could be little, like me' aww
37. Hee Hee. He's like my turn

38. Oh Fuck. Girl you better learn quick
39. Snaps
40. Ho don't do it

41. Yeah stooopid
42. Mad dog
43. A boy. Ha
44. Well now.
45. Must admit that startled me
46. Not surprised, but startled
47. He gon kill that baby
48. Poor things

49. Don't do it Miss Piggy!
50. I really don't want to watch them get butchered
51. Gulp
52. Saying that just solidified your death
53. Tears. They won't stop.

54. You shouldn't be forgiven
55. Where will you go
56. What home
57. She's got a point
58. Burn
59. Like that rickety ass bridge is safe
60. He sways with the bridge
61. That mug
62. He's the storm that's gonna throw your ass ova
63. Called it

64. Damn. That was cold
65. Nigga didn't miss a beat

66. Oh are you young again you mopey ass
67. Davos is all of us right now
68. Straight to the point
69. Bring his ass back
70. So I may gaze upon it once more
71. Fuck the lord
72. Yeah she don't need to be fuckin no one else

73. So many wounds
74. Don't get a bitch's hopes up now
75. The precious hair
76. My precioussssssss
77. It's not gonna work just because I want it to
79. That's it, give it a little more oompf
80. Knew it. Major let down
81. If you scare me by screaming awake I swear to cow
82. Ghost..
83. Even dead I still want to fuck him

85. Why is it not Sunday

I told you some shit happened. Significantly more thoughts since significantly more happened. Everyone over here like 'Jon Snow is alive!' and I'm over here like 'Tyrion touched a dragon!'. Cause come on guys- we all fucking knew they were gonna bring Jon back. But Tyrion getting some liquid courage to not just visit but release the dragons was intense. Even the nugget couldn't look away from that scene. And I swear they understood him. Highlight for me anyway. Now that Jon's back he gon be killin errbody. At least I hope. Walk up to the assholes who stabbed him and be like 'couldn't even get that job done bitches'. Then walk out like a boss and go take back Winterfell before Ramsay goes on a god damn killing spree!
Here's The Red Woman recap if you missed it.
Til next time!
All men must die.
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