Birthday Shenanigans

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I am now 26 years old and officially in my 'late 20s'. Fuck my life.

When I was younger I never understood why women didn't like being asked their age. Now I get it. Cause you're just like 'fuuuuuuck, I'm old' any time you meet someone and you find out they are years younger than you. Like shit, what am I doin with my life? Ya know? ESPECIALLY living in a military town where bitches get married at like 18 and start poppin out babies. Which is another damn boat I'm in now. 'You mean you're 26 and still don't have any kids?' ....yeah, fuck off. Apparently my biological clock is ticking now. Oh well. 

Enough of that debbie downer shit, onto my birthday recap! The day could have gone a little better thanks to a certain somebody trying to ruin it 3 separate times. Asshole. Anyway, the bestie and I had just gotten to Indiana at midnight so we slept in a bit and the chaos began. Both the dogs decided to give me a birthday wake up call by jumping all over me at 8 am. So that was lovely. Breakfast was my mini dozen cupcakes from my Little Nugget; he is the god damn sweetest. Then we threw on some clothes and headed to Bocci's house [Ali's grandma]. It was the cutest house still reminiscent of the 70s, complete with wood paneling and everything.

It was then that I started getting all the phone calls. My mother does this thing where every year she calls me at 8:30 in the morning because that's the time I was born. Being 3 hours behind me, I knew she'd call at 11:30 so she wouldn't have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to do it at my time. We headed back to where we were staying that Ali dubbed our '3 Star Hotel' aka her sister's townhome. I got my extensions out, my cute dress on, and my flower crown to show the world it was my day and it was off for Panera and pedicures. I used to hate having my feet touched, but now it's one of the most relaxing things ever. It's the only time I ever spoil myself. Once I got my glittery toes we headed back to get ready for the night!

Listen, I don't know how bitches can wear extensions all day errday, cause that shit gets hot and heavy real fast. I did not want to be bothered with those things while I was out drinking in that hot ass humidity. So I took them som'bitches out and put my party dress on!

We dragged the roommate out with us and headed to Broad Ripple- this really awesome strip of bars and clubs in the middle of town. We were drunk, we were loud, and we were hot messes. The usual. It was good times with good people and I wish I could remember more of it. But isn't that how your birthday should go? Drinks, crazy awesome people, and loud music? Check. Hey, we got home at a respectable 1 am. I think we did pretty good.


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